Winding down the summer

Me last week, feeling blessed :)

Sorry, I haven't felt like posting for some reason. Maybe because my normal time on the computer, at night before I crash has been spent catching up on Breaking Bad! I'm totally hooked on that show and I'm finally caught up after watching half of season two, all of three and the first seven of season 4. I can't decide if I like BB or Dexter better...

Anyway, just thought I'd check in and let everyone know I've so far avoided getting sick and thus a trip to the emergency room. I have a feeling my neutrophils have gone up. Usually when they're really low (like my last blood test), I can feel it in my throat, almost like the feeling of just before getting sick. It's weird how it always starts in your throat when your getting sick... Like I said though, that feeling is gone and I'm feeling pretty well and still enjoying the summer. Seems like it's lasted forever for some reason. The weather started off in June pretty crappy but got nice toward the end of the month and it's lasted the entire season. I think I'm ready for a change though and looking forward to the colors starting to turn...

My place is still coming along (the kitchen is almost done), have had a chance to get away up to Northern Michigan and starting to plan a trip out to Seattle to see my friends out there plus soak in some of the beautiful Northwest at a perfect time of the year to go :)

This weekend should be fun in neighboring Royal Oak as the Arts Beats and Eats festival is happening. Tons of free concerts and of course lots of cool artwork and great food. I had a blast last year and I think it's even bigger this year, Ford had a good year!

That's pretty much it for now, sorry if these posts are kinda boring. I've had a ton of things going through my mind that I've thought about sharing but have felt compelled to keep it simple. Sometimes it can bite you in the ass when you express your feelings on a public blog like this. People sometimes may get the wrong idea or sometimes I'm sure this stuff can scare people. It's hard to toe the line of being a Refractory Cancer survivor and a normal person. I so much want to just be a normal person but this little cancer thing somehow always seems to stop that from happening. It's something that will always be with me and wish so much sometimes I could just pack it up and get rid of it. How does one erase the stigma of having this disease?! It affects so many different aspects of my life in a negative way, what the hell!!!

Well, I guess I've gone from not sharing to sharing, weird how that happens. Funny thing is, I feel better already. Mission accomplished. Same reality, but negative thoughts released into the universe, pretty cool.

I haven't heard anything about my cousin Rodney so hoping things are getting better with that. I know my friend Mike Reed is still scrapping and hoping his blood counts can continue to rise and hold. Last I read about Zach is that the treatment he was on did nothing and they're hoping to get another chance at SGN-35 as it's one thing that worked in the past. The only problem is now that it's FDA approved (I must congratulate and thank Seattle Genetics for their work even though I had a horrible reaction to it) the cost of the drug is $13,500 per infusion. Yes, cancer drugs are expensive, especially ones that are just released for clinical use. Because of this, seems as if they're may be trouble getting insurance to pay for it without scratching and clawing. Crazy that someone like Zach who participated in the clinical trial to get the drug approved like myself, essentially making himself a Guinea Pig like the rest of us who partake in clinical trials, might not have the chance to use the drug to extend his life and buy him time for a cure. Something seems terribly wrong there...

Sorry about the rant, I guess I do have a lot on my mind...

Anyway, it's getting pretty late and the Benadryl is kicking in (just like allergies have been kicking my ass).

Hope all is well to the awesome people who keep up with me and this blog. I really appreciate it.

I'm out...