Random Thoughts

I don't really have any updates but just felt like writing a little to help me sleep... I still battle insomnia and know this to be a way to help me doze off into dreamland so here goes.

Where to begin though? I guess maybe I should start by saying that I'm still doing relatively well (for someone in my shoes) but it's a constant struggle. I probably have written about this before but I've just learned to accept all the little nagging things (some not so little) as I deal with the developing long term affects of my body taking such a pounding after going through all the toxic therapy. My back problems are well documented and I'm just recovering from a "pop" that occurred a couple weeks ago as I was moving stuff around in my garage. It pretty much put me down for 7-10 days and I couldn't do much of anything. It's much better now and have been testing it doing more stuff to the house and going to the Home Depot today grabbing some drywall and lumber (tip, don't try to load drywall on top of your car on a windy day!). Hopefully I can get out of bed tomorrow!

Another once small issue (in terms of size and pain) has developed into a full blown major issue (although still small in size) and that's my two big toes! Unbelievably, the inside bottom portion of the nail on both toes has become infected and making it almost impossible to wear shoes these days for more than a couple of hours. Crazy how something so small can be so painful! It's slowly been developing as the temps here in Michigan drop and I'm no longer able to wear flip flops like I've mostly been wearing the last couple of years. I have wide feet and now know that I have to be really conscious of the shoes I wear. Gone are the days where I can wear my Chuck Taylors or any shoe for that matter with a narrow toe. Ever since I dealt with the Guillaine Barre Syndrome from SGN-35, my feet have been messed up and often get swolllen if I'm on my feet for very long. I don't realize that they're swollen when I have my shoes on and the result is my toes being crammed in there and each step forcing the skin over the nail (at least that's my theory ;). Anyway, I'm now trying to figure out how to deal with these ingrown toenails and can tell you it's no picnic.

I've also been dealing with some more frequent headaches that I haven't had since chemo. The culprit while on chemo was not drinking enough water and I think the same holds true today (but don't remember having to drink so much to keep the headaches away). I think I'm writing this to document in addition to bitching and moaning to make myself feel better, haha. Anyway, something to keep my eye on after a couple of scares from the doc's in how Hodgkins can sometimes go into the brain albeit rare.

On a positive note, I think I'm going to do another sweet road trip here in a couple of weeks, this time on the East Coast. I've been invited to New York for Halloween and the crazy parade they have every year. So, the plan is to drive to New York, check out all the "freaks and icons" (actually borrowed that from an album title by Dzihan and Kamien which is a must have for your electronic/house/ambient collection), then drive south down the coast and eventually ending up in Delray Beach to leave my little car for the rest of the winter. I still have to work out the details or can perhaps just let the trip unfold on it's own as I connect with friends en route or am pulled by certain sites that I haven't experienced. I'm kinda leaning towards just going with the flow with a loose outline of things I want to see. Interesting to find out how it unfolds...

I think I'm ready for an adventure, it's been a while since I've done anything like this so I'm looking forward to it. Plus, I think the colors will still be changing as I head south so that should make for some nice driving. Hoping my 23 year old car with almost a half million miles on it continues to run like a champ. I recently had the brakes fixed along with major work earlier this summer to the transmission and other stuff so it should hopefully be ok. I should be extra careful documenting this trip, maybe BMW will be interested in my story, just saying... ;)

That's about all I've got in me for now. My spirits are mainly good except when I think about what my Mom and Rich are going through right now along with my Sister. Rich has his surgery now scheduled to remove a cancerous spot on his lung (despite his CHF) and my Mom should be finding out soon the results of her CT scan. Just found out today that my sister has been dealing with more frequent seizures, probably the result of the extra stress and the resulting change in body chemistry that most likely affects her body's response to the meds she takes to control them. If anybody could use some good news, it's those guys and I wish to God they could get some. I know first hand how toxic stress is to your body and well being. I'm hoping that all this bad stuff will be a bad memory one day and the worry over at my Mom and Rich's place will go away or at least be held to the background. No matter what, we're all pretty well battle tested so I'm confident that whatever happens, we'll be able to roll with it and come out on top, whatever that means. For now, prayers and positive energy is all we can do and will take either from whoever is reading this! I can see how prayer and faith is carrying my friends the Reeds as Mike continues his battle with MDS and Hodgkins and know that it can only help us so thanks in advance if you don't mind!

Ok, that's all for now, time to hopefully fall out of this conscious state into a blissful dream state :)

Thanks for reading, Chris