Well, it's Sunday evening and Jackie and I are sitting here in her living room mindlessly fidgeting with our laptops... Chili is over in the corner snoozing... All seems to be pretty normal.
It is possible to forget about cancer for a while, although those moments unfortunately don't seem to last very long. I am increasingly getting more and more anxious about my impending stem cell transplant and need to figure out a way to keep calm about it. I've done tons of research on the web and through my forums regarding personal experiences and think I have a pretty good handle on what to expect. No matter how I slice it, it's going to be tough. I'm just now getting a little taste of what it's going to be like with the bout with Mucositis, rash, etc... In fact, the only thing that I haven't experienced is the extreme naseau and vomiting. I guess I haven't experienced it from chemo but have been extremely sea sick before and guess it couldn't be much different from that right?
I think the hardest part about all of this is the possibility of this (SCT) not working. Don't get me wrong, I am confident and truly think I have a great shot at this working but it is natural and normal for the tiny seeds of doubt to creep in every once and a while. What a waste to have to go through all of this crap and have it not work right?! That's why I'm thinking there has to be a reason why I'm going through all this (side effects now and upcoming) and that reason is a CURE!
I'm so excited to think about life post cancer... I know it's going to be a long road to recovery (I've read anywhere from 6 months to 3 years!) but it's going to be totally worth it.
Until then, I'm just doing my best to enjoy all the simple pleasures in life when I can. Simple things right now like being able to chew and swallow food, brush my teeth, talk and walk make me very happy! My message (to myself) here is to be conscious and mindful of everyting I do and try and appreciate it the best I can!
Happy Monday Everyone!
1 comment:
Like the pic of you and "the Chill"....also the tunes you have picked out. Have to say I understand your trepidation about the upcoming SCT, though it appears to be your best shot at a cure. So you glad your posts have been more frequent, how did your last round of chemo go? Hope you missed the UM/Toledo game on Saturday, not too auspicious of a start for Rich Rodriquez. Don't think he was left with too much in the recruiting pile when he took over, but sure he will bring in the players he needs to bring the program back. I'm looking forward to next Saturday's MSU/OSU game, though a bit worried about the outcome considering their track record the last few years of starting out hot and then heading into the deep freeze. Our thoughts are with you and Jackie, send her our love and give us a ring when you are in the mood. Love, Rob
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