PAIN!!

Don't mean to sound like a downer but I need to vent here... I've pretty much been out of commission for the past week plus dealing with a severe case of mucositis and a nasty scrotal rash. Things I took for granted like eating, talking, swallowing, walking etc. have been extremely difficult lately! Everyone told me that this chemo (GND) was supposed to be so mild and well tolerated... It's been anything but for me. I'm thinking it's probably because my body has become so immunosuppressed from successive chemo's and needs a break. That said, I have one more cycle of this stuff scheduled for next Wednesday (if things clear up) then moving on to stem cell transplant. I'm concerned because the chemo used for the SCT is known to be much harsher and more likely to cause severe side effects. You know what they say though, one day at a time...

For anyone out there that has to deal with chronic acute pain on a daily basis, (i.e. rheumatoid arthritis, shingles, etc...) I tip my hat to you. I remember when my Unlcle Rob was sick and going over to visit and noticing how irritable he was (God I wish I could talk to him right now). When you're constantly in pain, you can't function as a normal human being. Thank God I have pain meds and topical numbing agents for my mouth (they call it Magic Mouthwash!).

I received two units of Red Blood Cells today (RBC's). I already notice a slight difference in my energy level and hope it'll facilitate healing in the other areas of my body.

Thanks for reading by bitch session and sorry for not updating for a while. Despite my negative tone right now, I am so thankful and grateful to be alive! I dream about the day when all of this is just going to be a bad memory. A year or two from now, the only way I'll remember this is by looking back and reading my posts.

God has a way of helping us selectively forget about the painful experiences in our life...