So, it's another rainy day here in paradise, ha! My buddies say they haven't seen weather like this in South Florida in years... Maybe the second half of winter down here will be better. It still beats the alternative however (i.e. Michigan winters) so I'm not complaining.
Funny, just as I typed that last sentence, the sun decided to pop out! Maybe it's a sign...
Time to go over to the pool for a quick soak... :)
Ok,I'm back!
Anyway, I have a lot of time to think right now and thought I'd throw some of these thoughts out to the blogosphere.
First, I just wanted to say again how blessed I am to have people out there who genuinely care about me and have gone out of their way to show it. Without you, I'm not so sure where I'd be right now. To you who can't handle my reality (you know who you are) and have fallen off the radar, all I have to say is what are you thinking? Wake up! Life is so short...
Next, I just want to say how proud I am of my sister Nicole :). Almost 20 years ago, she was diagnosed with at the time was a terminal Glioma brain tumor. They gave her a less than 20% chance to live beyond 2 years. The fact that she's alive today is nothing short of extraordinary! The part I'm proud about however is how she's kept going on with her life despite all the complications that the surgeries, subsequent seizures and drugs have caused her. For years, she has had to deal with not being able to do what for most of us are simple things (cognitively speaking). Now that I'm not able to do (or have great difficulty doing) the simple things (physically speaking), I have even more respect for her.
I also have great respect for my Mom, Cindy :) She too is a two time cancer survivor which is of course amazing! The thing I respect and love her for most is how she has cared for and nurtured my sister over these 20 years and now me since I've been going through my crap. No matter how bad things have gotten over the years with Nicole and now me, we know that she is always there for us doing the best that she can always putting us first.
There are so many kids who grow up and never given the type of love and support that is required... I fear that with how bad things are now, budgets being slashed everywhere (including social services) what's going to happen to a lot of these kids growing up who can't get the support and nurturing they need? This just reminded me of a movie I saw recently called "Precious". I have to say it's probably one of the saddest movies I've ever seen but inspirational nonetheless. If anyone thinks they have it bad, go see this movie.
I really don't know where I'm going with this post... I'm trying to find some "hook" or anecdote but really can't come up anything. I guess I'm kinda stuck in a state of flux right now not knowing what is going to happen and if my best days are behind me.
I do still have goals however... :) One goal of course is to get feeling back in my extremities. This can't happen soon enough and hoping it'll be reality by summer. I want to continue to travel. I obviously need my strength back for this to happen so these two go hand in hand. I want to mentor kids in some capacity. Need to figure out how and where... I'd like to rediscover my spirituality that's been sort of lost in a sea of cynicism.
Maybe I can tie all of these plans into one package?
God knows I have plenty of time on my hands to think about it... :)
8 comments:
Staying Positive is an awesome antidote...I know it seems hard at times .... thinking of you and yours..
Laura
Chris, I've been reading your posts and have been speechless. The pain you descibed, the frustration you feel, I wanted to offer comfort, but couldnt find the words. I have been praying for you and will continue to do this. Life, in general, isnt for the weary. Life with cancer, as you are showing me in your blog, isnt for the weak. May God give you the grace and strength everyday and the spiritual path you need to pull through this journey. Those who seek truth shall find and you will. Drive on with the mission, my friend. You have a million soldiers behind you. God bless you always, Chris.
Chris I don't know whether it will happen or if this helps but my Chris was starting to feel the the joint pain etc after his 6th infusion....he had the 7th one.....but then the what turned out to be H1N1 hit... he was having the infusions once a week.all I can tell you is that one of the conversations I had with Chris a few days before he passed _ I asked him about the joint pain and numbness (he had been off the dosage for just over three weeks at that time) and he said it was was better. hopefully as the SGN35 gets out of your system you will too experience some relief.. You have a great mum and sister and they have a great "Chris" too.... Loraine
looking for a hook?? You're counting your blessings in this post, it would seem - and you have many, as most of us do, although rarely do we take the time to count them...
It always strikes me how some families seem to get difficulties in bucketfuls and it amazes me how these same families are so, so strong and find ways to cope.
Love to you and your incredible family............<3
Chris
I can tell from reading your blog and seeing your attitude and now hearing you talk about your family that you would be a great mentor. Any kid would be so lucky to have you.
Nancy from the nhl side of the board
Glad to see you giving thanks to your mom. Moms will do anything for their kids. Whatever it takes, without complaint. But it is nice to be recognized, too. I'm sure your mom is awesome because she raised a good-hearted son. Judy K (9A)
Glad to see you giving thanks to your mom. Moms will do anything for their kids. Whatever it takes, without complaint. But it is nice to be recognized, too. I'm sure your mom is awesome because she raised a good-hearted son. Judy K (9A)
you, your sister and your mother are all amazing!
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