Thursday, August 27, 2009

Grateful...


As I lay here in my hospital bed at Karmanos, the mad scientists are mixing up my SGN-35 and my veins anxiously await this magic potion custom designed to kill Reed Sternberg cells (Hodgkins Cells). I just wanted to say how lucky I am to have what I have... If it were 2 years ago, I wouldn't have this opportunity to try this new drug. I'm lucky that I have relatively little disease in my body right now. I'm lucky that I'm having a response to the SGN-35 (I know for sure it's doing something as I don't have any pain after alcohol anymore). I'm lucky the side effects so far have been minimal (knock on wood). I'm lucky to be alive!!

I dropped my Mom and Rich off at the airport the other day as they're going on a Mediterranean cruise, sounds fun! I was joking with my sister (like when we were kids) hooting out "PARTY!!" when they disappeared into the terminal... Those high school days were so awesome, no worries whatsoever ;) I was lucky that the parties I used to throw -- nothing ever got broken (except my friend Craig's car that he smashed right in front of my house one night...!) Ah, how I miss those carefree days!!

I've actually kinda reverted back to my lazy summer ways (the summer of "89" when I graduated!)... I remember my parents threw me a party and I lived on the money for the whole summer (I think it was around $500 or so, life was a lot cheaper back then!). This summer has been similar with me not working, sleeping in, doing pretty much whatever I want... It's been great being able to reconnect with friends I haven't hung out with in so long. I'm really excited about my upcoming trips to Seattle, L.A. and Hawaii (they're officially booked). How many people can do what I'm doing right now?! I told my Mom, if I'm going out, I'm gonna go out in style!! Of course I don't plan on going anywhere (dying) anytime soon but I've made a deal with myself that I'm going to enjoy every moment that I feel relatively healthy. With all that said, there's still a part of me that would love to go back to a "normal life". I haven't worked since April of last year and would enjoy the opportunity again. The thing is, who is going to hire me? I think my skills are enhanced after going through what I've gone through (life experience). I think working would also bring me peace of mind regarding having insurance. I only have a year left of disability and not sure what I'm going to do after. I guess everything will fall into place like it always does...

So, the SGN is done and it's time to say adios to Karmanos! If nothing else, this blog is a great time waster ;)!!

2 comments:

Veronica said...

Hooray for time-wasting blogs - thanks for wasting your time to keep us updated ;0)

Glad you're able to take stock of all the good things you have - very easy to do the opposite, so much kudos to you - I reckon you've been to the school of the Beautiful Bekah!!

Keep on doing what you're doing, Superman :0)...........Vx

Unknown said...

Yeah it is! ;)