Well, it didn't take long to find some serenity... I'm going back to basics and one of my favorite Buddhist teachers, Thich Nhat Hanh. I remember reading a few of his books when I was first diagnosed and how calming they were. It's important for me to remember to be mindful as I've been getting caught up in the fear of being sick (and this developing cough).
Here's some of my favorite quotes:
“Live your daily life in a way that you never lose yourself. When you are carried away with your worries, fears, cravings, anger, and desire, you run away from yourself and you lose yourself. The practice is always to go back to oneself.”
“And once we have the condition of peace and joy in us, we can afford to be in any situation. Even in the situation of hell, we will be able to contribute our peace and serenity."
"Waking up this morning, I smile. Twenty-four brand new hours are before me. I vow to live fully in each moment and to look at all beings with eyes of compassion."
"The kingdom of God is available to you in the here and the now. But the question is whether you are available to the kingdom. Our practice is to make ourselves ready for the kingdom so that it can manifest in the here and the now. You don't need to die in order to enter the kingdom of heaven. In fact, you have to be truly alive in order to do so."
"When we walk like (we are rushing), we print anxiety and sorrow on the earth. We have to walk in a way that we only print peace and serenity on the earth... Be aware of the contact between your feet and the earth. Walk as if you are kissing the earth with your feet."
"Know that life can only be found in the present moment."
— Thich Nhat Hanh
Of course, I'm hopeful that whatever it is that's festering in my body (hopefully just a bug) goes away quickly and I can get back to feeling relatively well. If not, I'll be going in to see Dr. Ramchandran asap so we can put a plan together to get me back on track. If it's the disease growing that's the cause of this, I'm sure there's something out there that can bridge me until I find another clinical trial.
Looking forward to a new day tomorrow :)
3 comments:
have had the flu now for 3 weeks and even went to the doctor. He assured me it's viral. It is finally gone but it's going around. Hope you get better fast.
ken
Such a good thing to be able to turn to. I have like four of his books next to my bed "to read when panicking about my lifespan." I hope it's just a bug, too!
-hugs from the hospital! I am Day +1 from my first ASCT...
Tiff
Hi Chris, just wanted to leave you a note that my thoughts and prayers are with you. I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's this year and now have been in remission since late August. I was one of the lucky ones where it was caught early stage, 1B. Anyway, enough about me. I just want you to know that I'm praying for you and that you beat Hodgkin's...to a pulp.
Vesna
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