Just a quick update... Found out that I'll be needing 2 units of red blood cells tomorrow as my Hematocrit is only 25%. Explains why I can't seem to get out of bed in the morning... So, it'll be a busy day at the clinic tomorrow as I go in at 9:30 to be blood typed, then back at 1:30 for the infusion.
I think my Mom, Kenny and Me will be hanging at Jackie's tomorrow for New Years Eve. Our friend Eric burned a couple of new movies that are out right now, Milk and Grand Torino (hope the movie police aren't reading this ;). After that, we plan to either walk or drive down to the Space Needle as they shoot fireworks off the top every New Years. Should be fun...
Happy New Year Everyone!!!
I'm currently living with Hodgkins Lymphoma. One of my treatments included a tandem auto stem cell transplant. I described the process of how this works to my buddy Sean and he said "sounds like they're doing a Control Alt Delete on you". I thought it was as good a description as any. That seems like a long time ago but the name has stuck. I've basically had to start my life over, so please feel free to join me!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
Day 3
Just got back from the clinic... Had to get an infusion of Platelets as my counts are really low (8 thousand for platelets). Feeling a bit better but still pretty wiped out. It's getting tougher and tougher to eat or drink anything. My throat is starting to constrict but I'm hoping it doesn't get so bad that I'll have to start IV nutrition. I'm getting hyrdration supplies delivered tonight so at least I won't have to worry about forcing water down my throat.
We've got some nice sunny weather here right now which is uplifting! It's super windy though and can see white caps when I look down at the Sound from my deck. Thank God the garbage guys are finally coming today! Since we had the snow storm, the garbage men haven't been around and things are starting to pile up (especially with 3 of us here).
Another weird thing I forgot to mention is my skin is on fire! I guess it's a reaction from the Palfermin infusions but it feels like (and looks like) I fell asleep by the pool in Florida. It's especially painful on my back and face (thank God for pain meds). Hoping this goes away in a couple of days or sooner so I can sleep a little better.
That's pretty much it for now, time to go down for a nap once my Mom's done vacuuming here ;) I've got another 10-12 scary days left where my immune system is at zero. Of course, taking it day by day and hoping for smooth sailing...
We've got some nice sunny weather here right now which is uplifting! It's super windy though and can see white caps when I look down at the Sound from my deck. Thank God the garbage guys are finally coming today! Since we had the snow storm, the garbage men haven't been around and things are starting to pile up (especially with 3 of us here).
Another weird thing I forgot to mention is my skin is on fire! I guess it's a reaction from the Palfermin infusions but it feels like (and looks like) I fell asleep by the pool in Florida. It's especially painful on my back and face (thank God for pain meds). Hoping this goes away in a couple of days or sooner so I can sleep a little better.
That's pretty much it for now, time to go down for a nap once my Mom's done vacuuming here ;) I've got another 10-12 scary days left where my immune system is at zero. Of course, taking it day by day and hoping for smooth sailing...
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Day 1
To continue from yesterday... Got home after yesterday's extravaganza and was pretty zonked. The procedure itself went ok except for the usual barf session 5 bags into it. I was trying so hard to resist, eating and sucking on oranges (per the nurses recommendation). I think I would have been ok if I didn't eat the orange but the prickly sensation plus awful taste of the preservative going into me proved to be too much... I'm sure it was a funny visual with me sitting there in the bed with a big orange slice in my mouth, headphones on, eyes closed trying to meditate through the process! I have to say, my nurse this time around Alyce was awesome. She took her time and didn't rush the stem cells into me like last time. The faster the flow, the worse the prickly feeling and horrible taste. I also have to say my Mom and Kenny were great too! They kept the room light and had the nurses cracking up!
So, from here, I just have to wait it out again till my little stem cells engraft into white blood cells, red blood cells etc... I feel so lucky I can do this outpatient as most people I know have to wait this period out in the hospital. Of course, there's still a good chance I'll have to go in for a period of time if I spike a fever, develop mucositis too painful to manage on my own, not being able to eat, drink, etc... I stayed out the first time so here's to getting lucky again ;)
Just in case anybody's wondering when my next tests are, they usually scan around 100 days post transplant fyi. I'm of course nervous hoping this last batch of chemo and radiation has wiped out the disease for good... I'm nervous and scared that there may still be residual disease. I have a little node that I watch which is under my left armpit. The little guy has almost shrunk down to nothing but unfortunately, I can still feel it... Hodgkins Lymphoma is notorious for leaving scar tissue behind from the lymph nodes it infects. I hope this is the case with this little guy under my arm. Unfortunately, I have to accept and prepare for the worst just in case this is still disease...
Either way, I'm ok with whatever happens and will go on with my life and enjoy it to the fullest!!
So, from here, I just have to wait it out again till my little stem cells engraft into white blood cells, red blood cells etc... I feel so lucky I can do this outpatient as most people I know have to wait this period out in the hospital. Of course, there's still a good chance I'll have to go in for a period of time if I spike a fever, develop mucositis too painful to manage on my own, not being able to eat, drink, etc... I stayed out the first time so here's to getting lucky again ;)
Just in case anybody's wondering when my next tests are, they usually scan around 100 days post transplant fyi. I'm of course nervous hoping this last batch of chemo and radiation has wiped out the disease for good... I'm nervous and scared that there may still be residual disease. I have a little node that I watch which is under my left armpit. The little guy has almost shrunk down to nothing but unfortunately, I can still feel it... Hodgkins Lymphoma is notorious for leaving scar tissue behind from the lymph nodes it infects. I hope this is the case with this little guy under my arm. Unfortunately, I have to accept and prepare for the worst just in case this is still disease...
Either way, I'm ok with whatever happens and will go on with my life and enjoy it to the fullest!!
Friday, December 26, 2008
Birthday 2!!
So, real quick, here at the SCCA waiting for my stem cells to arrive (12:00). I'm here in the room with my Mom and Cuz Kenny. This is an epic day for a couple of reasons; First, the stem cells will allow me to live after the boat load of chemo and radiation they've given me over the last week (my bone marrow has been completely destroyed). Second, it's the first day I can start planning my post cancer life which I can't wait for! I'm planning an epic roadtrip around the country... First, I'm going to drive from Seattle down the coast to L.A. to visit my buddies Lee and Mike. From there, I plan to head East with possible stops in Vegas to visit my buddy Brian. I'll continue through hitting national parks in New Mexico and Texas with a pit stop planned in Austin, possibly with Brian or Mike in tow. Once I've seen Austin, I'll then continue East with final destination of South Florida to visit my buddies Ramil, Dan and Mike. I'll chill out there for a while, hopefully go fishing. From there, heading north to Michigan to see the family for a few weeks.
This of course is still in the planning stages and of course I can't go anywhere until I engraft and get my energy back. I think it's good though to look forward and make plans. I'll elaborate more on this later... Also, I'll update on how the stem cell re-infusion goes (hopefully better than last time.
This of course is still in the planning stages and of course I can't go anywhere until I engraft and get my energy back. I think it's good though to look forward and make plans. I'll elaborate more on this later... Also, I'll update on how the stem cell re-infusion goes (hopefully better than last time.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas!!!
Hey Everyone, here at home enjoying a mellow Christmas with my Mom and Cousin Ken (see photo, Santa was icognito in Seattle). Feeling ok after Cytoxan yesterday, Thank God! Started the day off by going to the clinic for usual blood and vital checks. From there, we went and had a non-traditional (being Polish and everything) Greek lunch of Gyro sandwiches and Sage tea at this great little Greek spot in Capital Hill. After that, I took them to St. James where we said a prayer and lit a candle. My Mom and Ken were amazed at the beauty of the Church...
I already miss my girl Jackie! She left this morning to go home to see her family in Michigan. I know she's exhausted after going to sleep at 1 last night and getting up at 4 to meet the cabbie this morning. To complicate things, she had to walk up the hill to meet the driver as he was afraid of coming down thinking he'd get stuck. Thankfully, the weather is getting mild again here and everything's starting to melt. It's going to be a mess for the next few days but at least I'll be able to get back and forth to the clinic without worrying.
So, I hope you all had an awesome holiday! I miss all of my family and friends and look forward to seeing/talking to you soon.
Cheers! Chris
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
CYTOXAN!
Well, just laying in the bed again here at the SCCA... Just got done with my Cytoxan infusion. Pretty uneventful thankfully, now I just have to sit here for another 6-7 hours while they hydrate me after I get my Mesna infusion (to prevent kidney/bladder damage).
I have to say, I haven't been this run down in a looonnnggg time but I'm ok with it. I just have to be diligent later on tonight taking my anti nausea drugs as it creeps up on you 7 hours after the infusion.
I really hope this is the knockout punch to my nemesis Hodgkins! I've been fighting this bastard for over a year now and nothing has seemed to work. 4 days of total body irradiation, 8400mg of VP-16 and now Cytoxan (not to mention all the other treatments over the last year), one would hope this does the trick. If it does, I'll consider myself the most blessed and lucky guy on the planet! If it doesn't, I'll just have to tip my cap to the Hodge and say I gave it my best shot...
Here's to it working!!!
I have to say, I haven't been this run down in a looonnnggg time but I'm ok with it. I just have to be diligent later on tonight taking my anti nausea drugs as it creeps up on you 7 hours after the infusion.
I really hope this is the knockout punch to my nemesis Hodgkins! I've been fighting this bastard for over a year now and nothing has seemed to work. 4 days of total body irradiation, 8400mg of VP-16 and now Cytoxan (not to mention all the other treatments over the last year), one would hope this does the trick. If it does, I'll consider myself the most blessed and lucky guy on the planet! If it doesn't, I'll just have to tip my cap to the Hodge and say I gave it my best shot...
Here's to it working!!!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
VP-16 Hangover...
Actually, I don't feel all that bad today, thank God! This morning I even had some rare energy which quickly faded after my clinic appts. So far though, no real problems with nausea or mucositis (knock on wood). My biggest thing right now is trying to eat. Because of the Palfermin, I have absolutely zero saliva in my mouth and everything tastes like cardboard. The only foods I can eat have to be moist or liquidy. I tried to eat some crackers last night and it was a joke! My Mom just got back from the grocery though and went hog wild! She bought me all kinds of soups, noodle dishes, treats, you name it...
So, we're getting into the Christmas spirit at my place tonight. I've got icicle lights all along my ceiling and also bought a little Norfolk Pine tree from the Home Depot which I've also strung with lights and some ornaments. Plus, as I've well documented, we've got pleny of snow so it should be a white Christmas :)
Tomorrow's going to be a long day as I've got my final high dose chemo Cytoxan. I've got to be at the clinic at 8 a.m. and will be there till around 8 at night. They have to give me 2 hours of hydration prior to my chemo, then they have to infuse me with a drug called Mesna which protects my kidneys (from the Cytoxan) then the actual Cytoxan itself. I think they saved the nastiest stuff for last... Hopefully I'll be feeling ok to celebrate Christmas eve. My cousin Ken is supposed to be coming in from Chicago (weather permitting) so that should be nice.
So, if I don't update, I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas with many blessings!
Monday, December 22, 2008
VP-16
Well, I'm here at he SCCA in a bed and receiving my first high dose chemo. Thank God they finally got WiFi here! This place had every ammenity of a "boutique" cancer center (tasteful updated decor, artwork, gourmet food), but no WiFi till now, go figure...
The chemo I'll be getting today (VP-16) is of course pretty nasty stuff. My infusion nurse Seth told me that most people with solid tumors receive 200mg. Guess how much they're going to give me today...? 8500mg!!!! Holy shit! Now I know why they call it high dose chemo, they're giving me an elephants dose, crazy... I mentioned this stuff is nasty, don't know if that's the proper word for it. First of all, at this dose, they can't put it in a bag because it'll eat right through the bag. They have to give it in a special plastic syringe (5 of them) that get automatically pushed by a machine. I could taste it as soon as Seth hit the button to start the pump. That brings me to the next interesting part of this chemo. They have to mix it with pure alcohol for some reason (he explained it to me but I forgot). So, as I get infused with this chemo it'll be like doing 5 shots of pure alcohol over 4 hours! Might as well belly up to the bar! I got that saying from an old co-worker from Texas and finally got a chance to use it :) So I better get this entry in before I start feeling looped which I'm sure I will be after the dose of benadryl and zofran they just gave me... I'll be doing my best to hold it together (no barfing).
A quick update on the crazy weather we've been getting here; My Mom and Jackie had to push me out this morning even though I parked on top of the hill! Times like these I wish I had a Hummer... I'm a little worried how we're going to get back and forth to my place. I guess we'll deal with it when the time comes. Worse comes to worse we can just crash at Jackie's place although I don't think my Mom's too keen on the idea of sleeping on the couch again. Who knows, maybe they'll plow the street that leads to my place but I doubt it.
P.S. I decided to put one of my painting's up for S&G's :-)
That's pretty much it for now. Just going to listen to some music and drift off........
It's 3:15 and wanted everyone to know we made it home safely, thank God. I'm feeling pretty out of it so I think I'll just hit the rack and pretty much stay there till tomorrow's appts. At least I get a 24 hour break before the next monster CYTOXAN huuuhhhhuuuuuhhhhuuuuu (menacing laugh).
Cheers Everyone!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
TBI Day 3
3 days down, one to go! Went through both sessions of TBI today without any problems... I started using the custom designed lung blocks for my afternoon session which were made of lead and around 3 inches thick. They kind of looked like slices of cantaloupe... The blocks were taped onto a piece of plexiglass and attached to the "rack" which holds me steady while they zap me. To make sure they were lined up properly, an x-ray was taken prior to the session. The tech then came in and made a mark on my chest with a sharpie to make sure I was properly alligned. All of this seems pretty low tech if you ask me... I mean the blocks were taped to the plexiglass with masking tape and he positioned me by using a sharpee! I did my best to hold as still as possible for the 12 minutes I was in there but sure I moved a little bit. Apparently, the idea is to protect (the best they can) the portion of my lungs that has the highest capacity (mid to lower portion). I guess I'll find out how the blocks worked once I recover from this mess and go biking or running for the first time...!
My other excitement for the day came from yet more snow here in Seattle. I dropped my Mom off at my place after my appts. so I could head back to Jackie's (wanted to be close to U of W as we're supposed to get hit again tonight). It took me at least25 tries to get out of my little subdivision! I would get halfway up the hill and that was it... I finally got enough momentum to get up the hill and made it over to Jack's safely. On the way, I checked the auto parts stores to see if they had any tire chains and all of them were sold out. I then went to a tire store and could've grabbed a set but the guy was totally capitalizing on the weather situation and selling sets that normally retail for $39 for $100!! People were still lined up to buy them, capitalism is alive and well here in Seattle...
I also wanted to mention that I've found an energy healer who's been helping me. My buddy Lee down in L.A. has been fighting an extremely aggressive brain tumor (Glioblastoma). He'd been through surgery, chemo, radiation and not too long ago had an MRI that showed his tumor was growing still. He then switched to an experimental drug called Avistan. The drug has some pretty bad side effects so he decided to stop the drug and go a different route. In came Ron. Ron is an energy healer who promotes the power of natural healing. I'll comment more later regarding some of Ron's techniques and methods. Back to Lee... He's gone to 3-4 sessions with Ron and told me he hasn't felt this good since before he was diagnosed. He has more energy and has been working and living a pretty normal life. The best news is he just had an MRI and found out his tumor is shrinking!! To me this is incredible as he stopped taking the Avistan (tumor shrinking drug). Can't say how happy I was to hear this for Lee!
In no way do I plan on stopping my treatments... I want the chemo and radiation to kill all of the cancer cells in my body. Where I think Ron can help me (and he agrees) is how he can help my body (and mind) heal so the disease doesn't come back. I think that's one thing that's lacking in the cancer field today is assisting patients in their healing post treatment. I'm excited to find out ways that I can participate in this healing through future conversations and eventual face to face meetings with my new energy healer!
The more tools I can put in my box the better...
My other excitement for the day came from yet more snow here in Seattle. I dropped my Mom off at my place after my appts. so I could head back to Jackie's (wanted to be close to U of W as we're supposed to get hit again tonight). It took me at least25 tries to get out of my little subdivision! I would get halfway up the hill and that was it... I finally got enough momentum to get up the hill and made it over to Jack's safely. On the way, I checked the auto parts stores to see if they had any tire chains and all of them were sold out. I then went to a tire store and could've grabbed a set but the guy was totally capitalizing on the weather situation and selling sets that normally retail for $39 for $100!! People were still lined up to buy them, capitalism is alive and well here in Seattle...
I also wanted to mention that I've found an energy healer who's been helping me. My buddy Lee down in L.A. has been fighting an extremely aggressive brain tumor (Glioblastoma). He'd been through surgery, chemo, radiation and not too long ago had an MRI that showed his tumor was growing still. He then switched to an experimental drug called Avistan. The drug has some pretty bad side effects so he decided to stop the drug and go a different route. In came Ron. Ron is an energy healer who promotes the power of natural healing. I'll comment more later regarding some of Ron's techniques and methods. Back to Lee... He's gone to 3-4 sessions with Ron and told me he hasn't felt this good since before he was diagnosed. He has more energy and has been working and living a pretty normal life. The best news is he just had an MRI and found out his tumor is shrinking!! To me this is incredible as he stopped taking the Avistan (tumor shrinking drug). Can't say how happy I was to hear this for Lee!
In no way do I plan on stopping my treatments... I want the chemo and radiation to kill all of the cancer cells in my body. Where I think Ron can help me (and he agrees) is how he can help my body (and mind) heal so the disease doesn't come back. I think that's one thing that's lacking in the cancer field today is assisting patients in their healing post treatment. I'm excited to find out ways that I can participate in this healing through future conversations and eventual face to face meetings with my new energy healer!
The more tools I can put in my box the better...
Friday, December 19, 2008
TBI Day 2
What a difference a day makes! I'm feeling much better, thank God! The swelling in my face and neck has gone down and my headache is way better. I talked with the nurse today and she said it's common when people first start TBI to get severe headaches as the brain swells from the radiation. I really didn't think I was going to be able to go through with it until this morning. I don't think I'll have a problem finishing my last 4 sessions now... I've been told to expect severe fatigue and maybe some more nausea, nothing I can't handle.
Nice to be back at my place... The roads over here in West Seattle are still pretty slippery but I'm getting better at knowing which hills I can take and which ones to avoid. It's all about momentum... If I can get a little head of steam before I get to a snowy hill, usually I can make it up. If there's a car ahead of me going slow or if I have to stop and re-start for any reason, forget about it. I probably should look into getting some chains for my tires as it seems like most people have them but hoping the weather gets better and I won't have to worry about it anymore. I guess we're supposed to get some more snow this weekend so hopefully I can get my last 4 TBI sessions in.
By the way, it's pretty funny watching the cyclist's riding around in the snow! There's so many people here who use their bike as their primary transportation... For a lot of them, the snow hasn't slowed them down! That's some serious dedication...
That's all for now. I'm totally exhausted and will be crashing early tonight.
Nice to be back at my place... The roads over here in West Seattle are still pretty slippery but I'm getting better at knowing which hills I can take and which ones to avoid. It's all about momentum... If I can get a little head of steam before I get to a snowy hill, usually I can make it up. If there's a car ahead of me going slow or if I have to stop and re-start for any reason, forget about it. I probably should look into getting some chains for my tires as it seems like most people have them but hoping the weather gets better and I won't have to worry about it anymore. I guess we're supposed to get some more snow this weekend so hopefully I can get my last 4 TBI sessions in.
By the way, it's pretty funny watching the cyclist's riding around in the snow! There's so many people here who use their bike as their primary transportation... For a lot of them, the snow hasn't slowed them down! That's some serious dedication...
That's all for now. I'm totally exhausted and will be crashing early tonight.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
First Day of TBI...
Did anyone catch the license plate on that truck...? Wow, can't believe it's only day one and I feel this lousy. I'm really hoping tomorrow is better because I don't know how I'm going to do 3 more days of this... My head feels like it's going to explode and I'm really nautious (although I just took a compazine and attivan and feeling a little better). The combination of Palfermin and TBI has caused my cheeks and jaw to blow up like a balloon. Thank God I have a girlfriend! (thanks for making me feel better babe)
The actual process of radiation isn't really that bad though. In fact, I'm only in there for 12 minutes (two 3 minute sessions facing front and 2 facing back). For the afternoon session while facing front, I closed my eyes and played 9 holes at one of my favorite golf courses in Michigan, The Orchards (front 9). I was afraid I was going to puke so I needed to keep my mind occupied. I was 7 under making the turn...:-) When my back was to the machine, I got to look at a Where's Waldo poster to pass the time. Amazing all the detail that guy puts into those drawings! I finally found Waldo after about two minutes into my morning session so I got bored of that pretty quick. Hoping they change it tomorrow...
Picked up my Mom at the airport tonight which is nice. I feel bad for her as her flight was delayed for an hour and they were stuck on the tarmack when she arrived in Seattle for at least an hour. It took another hour or more for her luggage to arrive, crazy... We've been hit here in Seattle with some serious winter weather (reminds me of home) that's wreaking havoc on commuters. It's really hilly here and I've gotten stuck a few times now trying to drive up hills (and I've got all wheel drive). When it happens, I've got to carefully cut my wheel, let the car roll back, put it in drive and let the front slide around 180 degrees so I can go back down. I couldn't go back to my place tonight because my apartment is at the bottom of a hill. Getting down is no problem, coming back up is another story. Don't want to risk it with my first appointment at 7 a.m. So, Mom gets to sleep on Jackie's couch tonight to add to the drama... I don't think it's a big deal as I think she'll sleep like a baby after a full day of travelling from Michigan.
That's pretty much it for now. The fun is just beginning...
The actual process of radiation isn't really that bad though. In fact, I'm only in there for 12 minutes (two 3 minute sessions facing front and 2 facing back). For the afternoon session while facing front, I closed my eyes and played 9 holes at one of my favorite golf courses in Michigan, The Orchards (front 9). I was afraid I was going to puke so I needed to keep my mind occupied. I was 7 under making the turn...:-) When my back was to the machine, I got to look at a Where's Waldo poster to pass the time. Amazing all the detail that guy puts into those drawings! I finally found Waldo after about two minutes into my morning session so I got bored of that pretty quick. Hoping they change it tomorrow...
Picked up my Mom at the airport tonight which is nice. I feel bad for her as her flight was delayed for an hour and they were stuck on the tarmack when she arrived in Seattle for at least an hour. It took another hour or more for her luggage to arrive, crazy... We've been hit here in Seattle with some serious winter weather (reminds me of home) that's wreaking havoc on commuters. It's really hilly here and I've gotten stuck a few times now trying to drive up hills (and I've got all wheel drive). When it happens, I've got to carefully cut my wheel, let the car roll back, put it in drive and let the front slide around 180 degrees so I can go back down. I couldn't go back to my place tonight because my apartment is at the bottom of a hill. Getting down is no problem, coming back up is another story. Don't want to risk it with my first appointment at 7 a.m. So, Mom gets to sleep on Jackie's couch tonight to add to the drama... I don't think it's a big deal as I think she'll sleep like a baby after a full day of travelling from Michigan.
That's pretty much it for now. The fun is just beginning...
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Jowels!
Hey Everyone,
Counting down till D-Day on Thursday! I took these pics at my favorite park in West Seattle, Lincoln Park. I try and stop there when it's nice to get some exercise on my way home from the clinic. It's been especially nice there as we got some rare snow here a couple of days ago and there's a white blanket over everything... It's also been pretty cold here (25-30) and think I may have gotten a wind burn from walking along the beach. I look pretty funny these days having a shiny bald head, red face and puffy cheeks! The puffy cheeks part is from the Palfermin infusions I've been receiving. It's really working as the inside of my mouth feels really thick and weird. I went to Taco Bell for lunch earlier and the food tastes different... I think my taste buds are buried in new tongue flesh, bizarre...! I think it's going to be worse tomorrow as I have another infusion of this stuff. So for the next few days, I'm going to look like a big bald red chipmunk :-D.
Small price to pay (gladly) for reduced mucositis...
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Slumdog Millionaire
Jackie and I went out to the movies last night (first time in a while). We saw this great flick called Slumdog Millionaire at this great old theatre in the Capital Hill neighborhood of Seattle. If it's playing where you live (I think it's a limited release movie) I highly recommend it.
Also, wanted to congratulate my friends Roger and Mandy on the birth of their new Baby Joshua! He came into the world a little early (3 weeks) and weighs in at 5 pounds 9 ounces. Can't wait to meet the little bugger! :-) I hope Mom Mandy is feeling better and home soon...
We're sitting here watching one of our favorite movies, Pulp Fiction while also watching a rare beautiful snowfall here up on top of Queen Anne Hill (Jackie's place). Also had a fun day Christmas shopping downtown today. There was so much great energy and Christmas spirit with Christmas Caroler's singing and the usual street performers. The Christmas lights were beautiful with the topper being a giant star above Nordstroms. I think we may go back tomorrow so I can take some shots to send out...
So, it's been a nice last weekend so far before my big transplant starting next Thursday. On Monday I have to go in for the first infusion (of three) of this new drug called Palafermin (sp?). It's a growth factor drug that helps mitigate mucositis. The drug works by stimulating extra growth of the skin inside my mouth. In other words, once I get the drug, my tongue, cheeks and gums will grow extra thick so that when the mucositis kicks in, I'll have a cushion so to speak. Kinda like having padding inside my mouth. I guess the sensation is pretty strange once it starts working as you can imagine having an oversized tongue and puffy cheeks and gums! I'm also starting to prepare mentally for the pummeling I'm going to take. The first step is going to church tomorrow to pray! There's a beautiful church also in Capital Hill called St. James Cathedral that Jackie and I like to go to. It's probably one of the most beautiful churches I've ever seen with amazing stained glass etc... and a beautiful choir.
After church I hope to watch the first win by my hapless Lions... You never know, miracles can happen (although I'm not betting on it)!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
TBI Simulation
Just got home from my TBI simulation... It was pretty interesting (maybe because I haven't done any radiation yet). They took a caliber like tool and measured my body from two different angles from head to toe. They then took me back and took two x-rays. I then went to be outfitted on this stand up positioning device that consisted of a couple of handle bars and a bicycle seat. So, basically, I'll be getting the TBI standing up with the support of a nicely cushioned bicycle seat and hand bars to support me while I get zapped. I'm due to go through 8 sessions of TBI. The first 5 will be without any type of shields to protect my organs. The last 3 I'll have a custom designed lung shield with strategically placed holes based on where the tumors are in my lungs. The reason for the shield is 5 sessions is the max my lungs can take being unprotected (without causing damage). The last 3 sessions will protect my lungs but let in tiny beams of radiation through the holes exactly where my tumors/scar tissue is. The shields will be designed by a specialist at U dub based on my latest CT scan results.
According to the nurse, I can expect possible nausea during the sessions and after. She also mentioned I might get a "burn or tan" which in my eyes wouldn't be a bad thing as I'm getting pretty pasty these days ;). And finally, I can definitely expect major fatigue which will be exacerbated by the following Cytoxan and VP-16 high dose chemo's.
That's it for now... I'm going to try not to think about the Hodge tonight as it's Thursday night and My Name is Earl, The Office and 30 Rock are on (not to mention It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and Testees)! Our friend Eric comes by and we sit here and laugh for a couple of hours, good times! I think I may even have 1-2 beers to celebrate my news of no new growth on my CT (funny how I celebrate status quo). This may sound strange but having the scare of the puffy area around my collarbone sort of made me forget about the worry of the impending pounding I'm going to take and deeper than that, the hope that this pounding is going to result in a cure. It's like I'm an onion of worries, you can peel off one layer but there's another layer of worry underneath...
Such is life of a cancer survivor...
CT Results
So, I had my CT scan yesterday and as you know from my previous post, I was concerned... Well, I just got a call from my P.A. Kerry and he said it looked good! He said there wasn't any new lymphadenopathy and either continued shrinkage or stability of my existing nodes! Whew!! I was really getting worried there as I have this puffiness near my collarbone and continued discomfort in my chest and sides when I inhale. I think it's scar tissue pushing against my nerves and inflammation.
Anyway, I'll get the full report on Friday. Kerry knew I was stressed out and called just to let me know it's ok to relax...
Today I'll be going to the University of Washinton for a "simulation" of my TBI. Can't imagine what that's going to be like... Maybe they want to put me through the motions so I don't have an anxiety attack my first time! I don't know if I have to go in a tube or what the deal is. Once I find out I'll post the information.
One more week to go!!
Anyway, I'll get the full report on Friday. Kerry knew I was stressed out and called just to let me know it's ok to relax...
Today I'll be going to the University of Washinton for a "simulation" of my TBI. Can't imagine what that's going to be like... Maybe they want to put me through the motions so I don't have an anxiety attack my first time! I don't know if I have to go in a tube or what the deal is. Once I find out I'll post the information.
One more week to go!!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Counting Down...
Hey everyone, sorry for no update in a while... I really haven't had a whole lot to talk about. I'm sitting here at the SCCA waiting to see my P.A. after a couple of tests (blood, EKG, X-ray). I need to go through this battery of tests again before my next transplant. So I'm doubling for a lab rat today, not that it's a big deal... Next up, my all important CT scan to find out what the first transplant did to my disease. Best case scenario would see shrinkage to all of the enlarged nodes in my chest and abdomen. Wort case, my disease has grown through the transplant and I have enlarged existing nodes and new ones as well. Of course I'm hoping for the former but wouldn't be suprised if the latter is true. I've developed a healthy level of skepticism after all of the disappointments over the last year. Not to mention, I've been noticing a minor swelling in my clavicular area over the last week. It's probably nothing but the last time I had a node check by my doc (where he takes his hands and probes my palpable nodes) he paused in this region above my collarbone then moved on. Of course, I've been pressing and probing non-stop since that visit and have proceeded to freak myself out a bit. I'll find out in a few minutes what the P.A. thinks and hoping it's no big deal (I can't really compare to my other side because I had one of my nodes removed when I was first diagnosed). I hope nobody's alarmed by me writing this (especially you Mom) but felt compelled to document this for reasons none other than trying to relax (it helps when I write about things like this).
So other than my neurosis, everythings cool! I've been doing some Christmas shopping at Costco and online. Trying to navigate the parking lot at Costco is enough to make you go crazy (as if I needed any help). That place in general is pretty much a zoo no matter what time you go. To complicate things, the last time I went, I spent an hour going through and picking up things for myself and gifts. I get to the cashier, they start scanning frantically, putting things in boxes and my total comes up. I hand the gal my Paypal debit card (they don't take charges) and she hands me the keypad back and asks me for my pin #. I scratched my head and told her I didn't know what my pin # was as I just got this card... Meanwhile, I look back and there's 4-5 people behind me with filled shopping carts looking not very happy. "Sir, I can't ring you up unless you have a pin # or cash"... Unbeleivable, I just spent the last hour carefully picking out presents and frozen food while dodging all of the other anxious shoppers. "Ok, ok", I said, do you guys cash checks? "No" she says with a disgusted look on her face. "Ok" I said, "do you know where a bank is around here"? "Yeah, there's a Wells Fargo down 4th". "Ok" I said, "I need to go and cash two checks and I'll be back with cash. Can you hold my stuff". "No problem sir" she said hastilly and off I went to Wells Fargo. So I go in, walk up to the counter and ask them if I could cash these checks (one was actually from the Lymphoma society reimbursing me for gas and parking fees, nice...). The teller then explained to me that I needed to have an account at Wells Fargo to cash checks. Great!! So, of course, I go and sit down with the new account clerk and go through the process of opening a new account. He said, "this will only take a couple of minutes". Yeah right... Around 40 minutes later, I finally walked out of the bank with cash in hand, inching ever so closer to accomplishing my goal for the day. So, I walk into Costco and up to the gal that rang me up. "I'm here to pay for my stuff". She gives me this blank look and proceeds to tell me that they put all of my stuff away. Noooooooo!!!!!!! You've got to be kidding me... "Ok, Ok, I'll just breeze through and grab the stuff I picked out, it's not that big of a deal" I thought to myself. So to make a long story even longer, I went and tried to pick up the stuff I picked out and amazingly, a lot of it was gone! Certain colors of articles of clothing were sold out in the sizes I needed, and certain things gone altogether in a matter of 45 minutes. Amazing... Anyway, that's my rant for today, thanks for reading up to this point. Gotta go up to my check up now.
Adios!!
So other than my neurosis, everythings cool! I've been doing some Christmas shopping at Costco and online. Trying to navigate the parking lot at Costco is enough to make you go crazy (as if I needed any help). That place in general is pretty much a zoo no matter what time you go. To complicate things, the last time I went, I spent an hour going through and picking up things for myself and gifts. I get to the cashier, they start scanning frantically, putting things in boxes and my total comes up. I hand the gal my Paypal debit card (they don't take charges) and she hands me the keypad back and asks me for my pin #. I scratched my head and told her I didn't know what my pin # was as I just got this card... Meanwhile, I look back and there's 4-5 people behind me with filled shopping carts looking not very happy. "Sir, I can't ring you up unless you have a pin # or cash"... Unbeleivable, I just spent the last hour carefully picking out presents and frozen food while dodging all of the other anxious shoppers. "Ok, ok", I said, do you guys cash checks? "No" she says with a disgusted look on her face. "Ok" I said, "do you know where a bank is around here"? "Yeah, there's a Wells Fargo down 4th". "Ok" I said, "I need to go and cash two checks and I'll be back with cash. Can you hold my stuff". "No problem sir" she said hastilly and off I went to Wells Fargo. So I go in, walk up to the counter and ask them if I could cash these checks (one was actually from the Lymphoma society reimbursing me for gas and parking fees, nice...). The teller then explained to me that I needed to have an account at Wells Fargo to cash checks. Great!! So, of course, I go and sit down with the new account clerk and go through the process of opening a new account. He said, "this will only take a couple of minutes". Yeah right... Around 40 minutes later, I finally walked out of the bank with cash in hand, inching ever so closer to accomplishing my goal for the day. So, I walk into Costco and up to the gal that rang me up. "I'm here to pay for my stuff". She gives me this blank look and proceeds to tell me that they put all of my stuff away. Noooooooo!!!!!!! You've got to be kidding me... "Ok, Ok, I'll just breeze through and grab the stuff I picked out, it's not that big of a deal" I thought to myself. So to make a long story even longer, I went and tried to pick up the stuff I picked out and amazingly, a lot of it was gone! Certain colors of articles of clothing were sold out in the sizes I needed, and certain things gone altogether in a matter of 45 minutes. Amazing... Anyway, that's my rant for today, thanks for reading up to this point. Gotta go up to my check up now.
Adios!!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Out of the Woods!
Well, I got a phone call from Dot today and I'm finally fully engrafted! My neutrophils are 1.4 and my WBC's are almost 4, yeee hawww! So, I don't have to go to the clinic for daily blood work and vitals, just twice a week now (relieved). This means I can get takeout again, go out to a movie or restaurant, go grocery shopping, all without feeling like a "bubble boy"! The only thing I have to deal with now is the chest/side/back pain when I inhale. It's weird as it's really sore intitially when I do my breathing exercises and seems to "stretch out" once I do a couple of deep inhalations and exhalations. I asked the doc about it yesterday and he just shook his head and told me he didn't know what it was and that it "could be anything". I'm hoping it's just scar tissue that is getting stretched out and torn when I breath deeply. The lungs are so sensitive... Anyway, I have a CT scan in around 9-10 days so we'll see. I'll try not to stress out too much till then ;)
Another bit of news, found out my TBI has been moved up to December 18th. So I'll have 4 days of this (2x per day) then get chemo for 2-3 days and probably get my stem cells back on Christmas day! What a Christmas present ;)
My Mom will be coming out on the 18th as well so she'll be jumping right into the fire! By the way, I have to say how proud I am of my Mom for quitting smoking after 45 years! She started using Chantix and is having great results so far. You can do it Mom!!
That's it for now, the waiting begins...
Another bit of news, found out my TBI has been moved up to December 18th. So I'll have 4 days of this (2x per day) then get chemo for 2-3 days and probably get my stem cells back on Christmas day! What a Christmas present ;)
My Mom will be coming out on the 18th as well so she'll be jumping right into the fire! By the way, I have to say how proud I am of my Mom for quitting smoking after 45 years! She started using Chantix and is having great results so far. You can do it Mom!!
That's it for now, the waiting begins...
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